Grim Grinning Ghosts
by 1000th Ghost
Summary: iTunes challenge. In which I am forced to relate Madonna, One Direction, Alice and Wonderland, Weird Al, and other random songs to The Haunted Mansion. Oh, boy.


**Grim Grinning Ghosts**

**By: 1000th Ghost**

*This is dedicated to my dad because it's Father's Day!*

**Write a short fic about ten random songs. Put your respective music player on shuffle, and write a story to whatever song comes up. Sounds easy? It should. Except you also have to write the story in the span of the song you are writing about.**

**#1: Stop**

**Sung by: Jimmy Eat World**

_Don't have to be the prettiest  
If you have the mind, the willingness  
No one stops a girl who knows what she's got_

_No reason why_  
_I can't help following with my eyes_  
_Even at my best,_  
_I guess I'm still just one of them._

_I see it all in my head._  
_Cool hands on your steps_  
_You wanna make me mad?_  
_Stop 'cause I am._

_You can call this a game._  
_You can look at my face._  
_You wanna hurt me baby?_  
_Stop 'cause you have._

_Combination of strong and lust_  
_How easily you turn, and turn it off_  
_Do you take what you want_  
_And save it for a better time?_

_Don't act that way_  
_Honey I don't buy it at all_  
_If you're really as tough as your defenses_  
_Let them fall_

_I see it all in my head._  
_Cool hands on your steps_  
_You wanna make me mad?_  
_Stop 'cause I am._

_You can call this a game._  
_You can look at my face._  
_You wanna hurt me baby?_  
_Stop 'cause you have._

_Ahhh..._

_I see it all in my head._  
_Cool hands on your steps_  
_You wanna make me mad?_  
_Stop 'cause I am._

_You can call this a game._  
_You can look at my face._  
_You wanna hurt me baby?_  
_Stop 'cause you have._

_You wanna make me mad?_  
_Stop 'cause I am._  
_You wanna hurt me baby?_  
_Stop 'cause you have._

There was an air of mystery about her façade.

There was nothing mysterious about who she really was.

Leota was cruel and vicious, and everyone knew it, and no one respected it, and everyone feared it. But her ability to keep up this fear was dependent on her secrecy and her refusal to let her guard down.

Until she slipped. Lilian and Emily and their deaths, and now he _knew_, and suddenly he wanted her out and gone and to stop. He was mad.

But no one did mad like she did.

**#2: One Thing**

**Sung by: One Direction**

_[Liam]  
I've tried playing it cool  
But when I'm looking at you  
I can't ever be brave  
'Cause you make my heart race_

_[Harry]_  
_Shot me out of the sky_  
_You're my kryptonite_  
_You keep making me weak_  
_Yeah, frozen and can't breathe_

_[Zayn]_  
_Something's gotta give now_  
_'Cause I'm dying just to make you see_  
_That I need you here with me now_  
_'Cause you've got that one thing_

_[All - Chorus]_  
_So get out, get out, get out of my head_  
_And fall into my arms instead_  
_I don't, I don't, don't know what it is_  
_But I need that one thing_  
_And you've got that one thing_

_[Niall]_  
_Now I'm climbing the walls_  
_But you don't notice at all_  
_That I'm going out of my mind_  
_All day and all night_

_[Louis-Zayn-Niall]_  
_Something's gotta give now_  
_'Cause I'm dying just to know your name_  
_And I need you here with me now_  
_'Cause you've got that one thing_

_[All - Chorus]_  
_So get out, get out, get out of my head_  
_And fall into my arms instead_  
_I don't, I don't, don't know what it is_  
_But I need that one thing_

_So get out, get out, get out of my mind_  
_And come on, come into my life_  
_I don't, I don't, don't know what it is_  
_But I need that one thing_  
_And you've got that one thing_

_Woah-oh-oh-oh_  
_Woah-oh-oh-oh_  
_Woah-oh-oh-oh_

_[Harry]_  
_You've got that one thing_

_[Liam]_  
_Get out, get out, get out of my head_  
_And fall into my arms instead_

_[All - Chorus]_  
_So get out, get out, get out of my head_  
_And fall into my arms instead_  
_I don't, I don't, don't know what it is_  
_But I need that one thing_

_So get out, get out, get out of my mind_  
_And come on, come into my life_  
_I don't, I don't, don't know what it is_  
_But I need that one thing_  
_Yeah, you've got that one thing_

There were two things in the world that he needed. Both were probably things only a depraved man would want.

Money. Lots of it. More than anyone could ever need or use.

His father. Who was dead. So, someone with contact with the spirit world.

The problem was that these two things conflicted with each other because Emily had money and Leota had power. Leota needed to be paid, hence the need for Emily's money.

But Emily he loved. And Leota, he knew, would never be happy with that.

**#3: All I Ask Of You**

**From: The Phantom of the Opera**

_(Raoul)  
No more talk of darkness  
Forget these wide-eyed fears  
I'm here, nothing can harm you  
My words will warm and calm you_

_Let me be your freedom_  
_Let daylight dry your tears_  
_I'm here, with you, beside you_  
_To guard you and to guide you_

_(Christine)_  
_Say you'll love me every waking moment_  
_Turn my head with talk of summer time_  
_Say you need me with you now and always_  
_Promise me that all you say is true_  
_That's all I ask of you_

_[Raoul]_  
_Let me be your shelter_  
_Let me be your light_  
_You're safe, no one will find you_  
_Your fears are far behind you_

_[Christine]_  
_All I want is freedom_  
_A world with no more night_  
_And you, always beside me_  
_To hold me and to hide me_

_[Raoul]_  
_Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime_  
_Let me lead you from your solitude_  
_Say you need me with you here, beside you_  
_Anywhere you go, let me go too_  
_Christine, that's all I ask of you_

_[Christine]_  
_Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime_  
_Say the word and I will follow you_

_[Both]_  
_Share each day with me, each night, each morning_

_[Christine]_  
_Say you love me_

_[Raoul]_  
_You know I do_

_[Both]_  
_Love me, that's all I ask of you._

_[Both]_  
_Anywhere you go, let me go too_  
_Love me, that's all I ask of you_

"And you can do this for me?"

How pathetic he sounded! How quickly the grand Master crumbled! He sounded like a scared child crying for his Daddy. Which was exactly what he was.

Leota smiled. Oh, how many ways this could be used to her advantage.

"I can. For a price."

"_Anything._" He was on his knees now. "Please, Madame. Anything you ask."

"I want to live in that house-"

"Mansion."

She blinked. "_Mansion_ of yours. I need my own séance room. And I need access to any comforts I may think of." One mocha finger reached out, trailed down his chest. "Anything, _Master_ George. That's all I ask of you."

**#4: Hung Up**

**Sung by: Madonna**

_Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly_

_Every little thing that you say or do_  
_I'm hung up_  
_I'm hung up on you_  
_Waiting for your call_  
_Baby night and day_  
_I'm fed up_  
_I'm tired of waiting on you_

_Time goes by so slowly for those who wait_  
_No time to hesitate_  
_Those who run seem to have all the fun_  
_I'm caught up_  
_I don't know what to do_

_Time goes by so slowly_  
_Time goes by so slowly_  
_Time goes by so slowly_  
_I don't know what to do_

_Every little thing that you say or do_  
_I'm hung up_  
_I'm hung up on you_  
_Waiting for your call_  
_Baby night and day_  
_I'm fed up_  
_I'm tired of waiting on you_

_Every little thing that you say or do_  
_I'm hung up_  
_I'm hung up on you_

_Waiting for your call_  
_Baby night and day_  
_I'm fed up_  
_I'm tired of waiting on you_

_Ring ring ring goes the telephone_  
_The lights are on but there's no-one home_  
_Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two_  
_And I'm done_  
_I'm hanging up on you_

_I can't keep on waiting for you_  
_I know that you're still hesitating_  
_Don't cry for me_  
_'cause I'll find my way_  
_you'll wake up one day_  
_but it'll be too late_

_Every little thing that you say or do_  
_I'm hung up_  
_I'm hung up on you_  
_Waiting for your call_  
_Baby night and day_  
_I'm fed up_  
_I'm tired of waiting on you_

_Every little thing that you say or do_  
_I'm hung up_  
_I'm hung up on you_  
_Waiting for your call_  
_Baby night and day_  
_I'm fed up_  
_I'm tired of waiting on you_

Sometimes she wondered if she was insane. But, no, she was not insane, she was dead.

That was okay. Being dead was okay. Because George would save her. Because George loved her.

Was she insane, no, but she could hear the tick TICK **TICK** of the grandfather clock in the hallway as if it was reverberating inside her skull. Which made no sense because she was in the attic, nowhere near the clock.

Also, she did not have a skull anymore, she didn't think.

And every tick of the clock she wasn't supposed to be able to hear was a reminder that tick tock another second had passed when he had not come.

He would come. Because he loved her. And she would wait for him because she loved him. And she would imagine that it was an altar that she had been left at, not a sea trunk in a corner of an attic.

The clock kept ticking, but she didn't mind.

He would come.

He would come.

Her heart beat in time.

**#5: Pancreas**

**Sung by: Weird Al Yankovic**

_Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh  
Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh  
Oooooh_

_I'm always thinkin' 'bout it_  
_I don't know what I'd do without it_  
_I love, I really love_  
_My pancreas_

_My spleen just doesn't matter_  
_Don't really care about my bladder_  
_But I don't leave home without_  
_My pancreas_

_My pancreas is always_  
_There for me_  
_Ahh-oooh_

_Secreting those enzymes (bap bap bap)_  
_Secreting those hormones too_  
_Metabolizing carbohydrates_  
_Just for me_

_Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba_  
_My pancreas_  
_Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba_  
_My pancreas_  
_Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba_  
_My pancreas_  
_Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba_  
_My pancreas_

_Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba_  
_My pancreas_  
_Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba_  
_My pancreas_  
_Ooooooh_

_My pancreas attracts every other_  
_Pancreas in the universe_  
_With a force proportional_  
_To the product of their masses_  
_And inversely proportional_  
_To the distance between them_

_Woo woo woo woo_

_Don'tcha you know you gotta_  
_Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice_  
_Flow, flow, into the deuodenum_

_Won'tcha_  
_Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice_  
_Flow, flow, into the deuodenum_

_Insulin, glucagon_  
_(Won'tcha flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice)_  
_Comin' from the islets of Langerhans..._  
_(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)_

_Insulin, glucagon_  
_(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)_  
_Comin' from the islets of Langerhans..._  
_(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)_

_Lipase, amylase, and tripsin_  
_(Insulin, glucagon)_  
_(Won'tcha flow, flow flow, pancreatic juice)_  
_They gonna help with our digestion_  
_(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)_  
_(Flow flow, into the deuodenium)_

_Lipase, amylase, and tripsin_  
_(Insulin, glucagon)_  
_(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)_  
_They gonna help with our digestion_  
_(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)_  
_(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)_

_Can't you see I love my pancreas_  
_{Lipase, amylase, and tripsin}_  
_(Insulin, glucagon)_  
_(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)_  
_Golly-gee I love my pancreas_  
_{They gonna help with our digestion}_  
_(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)_  
_(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)_

_Can't you see I love my pancreas_  
_{Lipase, amylase, and tripsin}_  
_(Insulin, glucagon)_  
_(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)_  
_Golly-gee I love my pancreas_  
_{They gonna help with our digestion}_  
_(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)_  
_(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)_

_Can't you see I love my pancreas_  
_{Lipase, amylase, and tripsin}_  
_(Insulin, glucagon)_  
_(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)_  
_Golly-gee I love my pancreas_  
_{They gonna help with our digestion}_  
_(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)_  
_(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)_

_Can't you see I love my pancreas_

Besides being the official Master of the Mansion before death (the owner, the host, the soul of the place), there was another reason his leadership was perfect for a retirement home for the deceased.

Other ghosts seemed to possess a problem with their restless bones vs. ethereal states. But not him.

He was, according to records and the attendants of his funeral, buried under a headstone in the yard. And this was true. But if he wanted those same bones up hanging from the rafters, there they were.

Some spooks whispered other things. That wasn't it strange that he was disembodied? Almost as though he had a secret he was ashamed about.

**#6: Bittersweet**

**Sung by: Atomica**

_The bittersweet and incomplete  
The feeling I'm surrounded by you  
The great mistakes that people make  
I'll always feel a bit betrayed by you  
Your anger simply compliments  
The feeling I am hunted by you  
I've seen your will to overwhelm  
Be squandered by the fact you still blame me_

_The bittersweet and incomplete_  
_The feeling I'm completed by you_  
_The great mistakes that people make_  
_I'll always feel a bit destroyed by you_  
_The seconds pass and complicate_  
_The walls that have been built around us_  
_A taste of losing everything_  
_And one thing i will always love more than you_

_I told myself I had the strength to overcome_  
_I am one among a million and a part of everyone_  
_I told myself the world is greater than us both_  
_I can barely grasp the magnitude of what it means to hope._

Could a ghost be haunted?

In reality, probably not. Maybe, but it would be no different than a mortal spending time with another mortal.

This was different though. Because he was not spending time with her. In fact, since he had discovered her body in the trunk, since her funeral-that-wasn't (just like her wedding-that-wasn't), she had not seen him at all.

She had heard him though. His presence was everywhere. He _was_ the Mansion, and the walls and the floor and the residents were full of him. It was no surprise that whispers of his behavior slipped in.

Something she could no longer ignore.

**#7: The Dance**

**Sung by: Garth Brooks**

_Looking back on the memory of,  
The dance we shared, 'neath the stars above.  
For a moment, all the world was right,  
How could I have known, that you'd ever say good bye?_

_And now, I'm glad I didn't know,_  
_The way it all would end,_  
_The way it all would go,_  
_Our lives are better left to chance,_  
_I could have missed the pain,_  
_But I'd have had to miss the dance._

_Holding you, I held everything,_  
_For a moment, wasn't I the king,_  
_But if I'd only known, how the king would fall,_  
_Hey who's to say, You know I might have changed it all,_

_And now, I'm glad I didn't know,_  
_The way it all would end,_  
_The way it all would go,_  
_Our lives are better left to chance,_  
_I could have missed the pain,_  
_But I'd have had to miss the dance._

_Yes my life, is better left to chance,_  
_I could have missed the pain,_  
_But I'd have had to miss...The Dance_

Parties were a must at the Mansion. Madame Leota hated them, of course, because they constantly interrupted her séances. But they were part of the social atmosphere that was expected of him, so Master Gracey threw parties.

Emily was a girl of enormous wealth and had been born into the world of parties, but she had been a child, and the parties had ended for her at bedtime. Now she was in his arms, and he twirled her around the room, and she laughed her tinkling laugh in excitement and tipped her head back so her blond curls flew out around her like a halo. He had never been that fond of dancing before, but now he found that he could enjoy it like the best of the ballroomers.

**#8: Very Good Advice**

**Sung by: Robert Smith for Alice in Wonderland**

_I give myself very good advice  
But I very seldom follow it  
That explains the trouble that I'm always in  
Be Patient is very good advice  
But the waitin' makes me curious_

_And I'd love the change_  
_Should something strange begin_

_Well I went along my merry way_  
_And I never stopped to reason_  
_I should have known there'd be a price to pay_  
_Some day_

_I give myself very good advice_  
_Will I ever learn to do the things I should?_

_I went along my merry way_  
_And I never stopped to reason_  
_I should have known there'd be a price to pay someday_

_I give myself very good advice_  
_But I very seldom follow it_  
_Will I ever learn? Will I ever learn?_  
_Will I ever learn to do the things I should?_

The waiting made her curious.

She gave herself very good advice, such as to be patient, and everything would be okay. Except that standing there and standing there forever with her beating heart left an unhealthy amount of time to think.

"Why hasn't he come see me?" turned into "Why are they talking about him and the fortune teller?" turned into something that could not be formed into a question because it was too maddening.

Insane.

And then a new question "When will he come so I can kill him?"

She could wait.

**#9: Bob**

**Sung by: Weird Al Yankovic**

_I, man, am regal - a German am I  
Never odd or even  
If I had a hi-fi  
Madam, I'm Adam  
Too hot to hoot  
No lemons, no melon  
Too bad I hid a boot  
Lisa Bonet ate no basil  
Warsaw was raw  
Was it a car or a cat I saw?_

_Rise to vote, sir_  
_Do geese see god?_  
_"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod_  
_Rats live on no evil star_  
_Won't lovers revolt now?_  
_Race fast, safe car_  
_Pa's a sap_  
_Ma is as selfless as I am_  
_May a moody baby doom a yam?_

_Ah, Satan sees Natasha_  
_No devil lived on_  
_Lonely Tylenol_  
_Not a banana baton_  
_No "x" in "Nixon"_  
_O, stone, be not so_  
_O Geronimo, no minor ego_  
_"Naomi," I moan_  
_"A Toyota's a Toyota"_  
_A dog, a panic in a pagoda_

_Oh no! Don Ho!_  
_Nurse, I spy gypsies - run!_  
_Senile felines_  
_Now I see bees I won_  
_UFO tofu_  
_We panic in a pew_  
_Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo_  
_God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!_  
_Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog_

Georgemily.

Ghost host.

Grim Grinning Ghosts.

M.T. Tomb.

George put his pen down and sighed.

He'd leave the palindromes to the ghost writers.

**#10: Madeline **

**Sung by: The Amorous**

_Hey Madeline,  
This will be the sixth time that I've told you  
That I will never fall or be in love with you  
As I will not be around, you see_

_Do you understand,_  
_When I tell you that you're not the one?_  
_I'm sorry, 'cause I'm that afraid to say_  
_Like a thousand times before_

_'Cause you're boring me and you seem to always talk about your job_  
_I could care less about_  
_And it's always nothing new to say to you_

_Hey Madeline,_  
_This will be the sixth time that I've told you_  
_That I will never fall or be in love with you_  
_As I will not be around, you see_

_Did you meet Roxanne?_  
_Oh, tell me, did you get that far?_  
_Oh, baby, were you that upset at me_  
_Like a thousand times before_

_That when I'm with you, I feel I could do better_  
_'Cause you're nothing new like an old sweater_  
_That I've kept too long and it's time for you to leave_

_Hey Madeline,_  
_This will be the sixth time that I've told you_  
_That I will never fall or be in love with you_  
_As I will not be around, you see_

_I'm getting away out of the valley_  
_That we both knew that we both chased_  
_Out of the valley that we hated from the heat_  
_You'll find me today chasing my big dreams_  
_That I told you about from years ago_  
_Or maybe I'll fade away_  
_Oh, Madeline_

_Hey Madeline,_  
_This will be the sixth time that I've told you_  
_That I will never fall or be in love with you_  
_As I will not be around, you see_

_Hey Madeline,_  
_I will not be around, you see_

She was _dead_. She was dead, darn it, and no one seemed to give him the benefit of the doubt. That maybe he had to get on with his life. That he could not waste away with the memory of a ghost when there was a living, flesh-and-blood woman who was open and eager.

So the whispers flew, and the truthful rumors started, and Leota assured him that it was fine, and it didn't matter.

Except that sometimes - always - Leota seemed corrupt, and sometimes he just wanted to fade away with Emily.

**The End**


End file.
